Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Messy life

There's a lot going on these days.  Honestly, it's not that we've intentionally taken on too much or said "Yes" too often.  In fact, we've had to really make some tough decisions about where and with whom we spend our time.

I am well aware that if I spend too much time investing in others, then my studies suffer and ultimately my family suffers because I lose time and money and momentum if I don't focus on my studies.  So, I must say "NO" to many "good things".  I'm ok with that most of the time because I recognize that my family is no one else's responsibility.  No one else will be held accountable for them.  I will.

I'm certainly not perfect and when I find myself with an unhealthy attitude or doing something selfish, I snap out of it and get back in the game.

Amy is working hard.  She is a great nurse and loves her job.  She is challenged and loves the environment "most" of the time.  ;)  There is no one I would rather be on this adventure with, leading our four beautiful kids on this ridiculous route.  She works long shifts and needs to sleep so the weekends get hectic sometimes because it's hard for her to sleep if we're all home.  Maybe if our bedroom was further from the kitchen it might help, but... arghh...

Normally, my weekdays begin with breakfast, devotions with the kids, taking the kids to school, do my daily workout, then study, then pick up the kids after school, have dinner and either hang out with Amy before she leaves for work or I study some more.

Amy just began her 3days/week schedule so we're really excited about that.  She'll work about 4hrs less a week but it will make a huge difference in being able to be together as a family and the two of us since she'll now work 3 nights instead of 4.  We cherish that time together and that time is such a commodity these days.

So our frustration sets in when we're trying to "do life like Jesus" in the experiences and relationship interactions we have.  We're ok with interruptions and see them as Divinely Orchestrated teachable moments to process.  However, those interactions are messy.  They just are... life is messy.  Those messy things add to the schedule and shift our plan around.  We're trying hard to help our kids see the moments where God shows up and how we steward them well.  We don't do it right all the time, but frankly... as much as we value those moments and know that Jesus would respond to them too... we are having a hard time.  We have scaled back alot to focus on the most important things, but when push comes to shove in trying to work through the messy things extra support is needed.  We're beginning to think that we may need some extra support.  We don't know what that looks like yet... we just know that our families are not nearby and this time for us is difficult without them.

We feel called to this area of the country and don't feel called away, but we're wondering if what we're trying to accomplish is not doable without additional family support.  Praying for Wisdom and direction.

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